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Do you miss it?

Do you remember what life used to be like? Do you remember how you could go out whenever you pleased? How the only thing that delayed you from getting out of the house and into the car was you taking your time to put on makeup and do your hair?

No matter that you had that extra padding in the tummy, your skin was still elastic, and you could suck it in enough to make it look flat. Do you remember when you cared enough to suck it in all the time? And your boobs – weren’t they fantastic? Do you remember them before they got all… floppy?

Do you remember when the only food you had to cut was your own? When the only nose you had to wipe was yours? When 8pm meant the night was still young, instead of the time you yearn to get to so you can collapse in a tired, raggedy heap? When the weekend was something to look forward to, rather than dread because you have to figure out how to keep a bunch of tyrants occupied and happy the whole time?

Do you remember all this? Yes? Do you miss it?

I do, sometimes. I love my kids. I LOVE my kids, but sometimes I am overwhelmed by the constant requirements of parenthood. I cannot imagine I am alone in this feeling.

I wouldn’t change things. I wouldn’t trade my life now for the life I had then. But that doesn’t mean I can’t miss that life sometimes. That I can’t sometimes be a little envious of friends who can go out whenever they please.


  1. Cheyenne says:

    Thanks for the reminder, cousin. I think I will hold off on the babies for a few more years. I might as well enjoy this while it lasts. Ian and I could watch the four kids sometime in Oakland if you and Em wanted to go out on the town 😉 (we could manage… I think)

  2. jason says:

    the thing is it will get worse before it gets better, but then when it gets better, you’ll miss it when it was worse, and then you’ll kind of remember how you missed it being better, but in retrospect, you’ll see how that was actually better then, and now, you won’t really know what is better or worse, so the main thing is it is likely always better, no matter what time it is. If you miss how it was before, you will miss how it is now later.

    • Pobba says:

      Jason, my son, you have struck the chord with sonority and clarity. Parenthood is an awful and awesome imposition…but the rewards, ahhh, the rewards.

  3. jason says:

    I think I missed a few commas in there 🙂

  4. Eileen says:

    We have been blessed with a burden.

  5. abby says:

    I miss 10pm milkshake runs and concerts and theater… going alone just isn’t the same. But I love the smiles and happy-dance that Eleanor bestows when I appear.

  6. Tyra says:

    We put up Christmas ornaments last night. The poor tree only has ornaments on the lower 2 feet of its branches.

    I thought, “I used to have such a pretty tree.”

    Then I realized – next year the ornaments will go up a little farther, and then then next and then next…That tree will be constantly getting closer and closer to being the pretty tree I used to be so proud of. Until, finally, I’m standing there boxing those ornaments up for the twins to take with them to their “own (separate) place”s.


    Abi, here’s an old (sort of related) post from my blog I thought you might enjoy:

    • Abi says:


      I haven’t been on here in ages — just saw your comment. Thanks for sharing that blog post — it’s great!